Coping with unexpected boulders

Quartz boulder

Coping with unexpected boulders

Sometimes, boulders can help you focus, regroup and rediscover what is important to you.  But, they can also cause stress, anxiety and depression, if not managed and you learn ways to cope with them.

So, what are boulders?

Things like:

Illness – both short-term and long-term

Death of a loved one.

Unexpected financial outlays, ie for significant items breaking in the home or business

Debtors not paying

Marriage break up

Suddenly losing ‘me time’

Loss of work

Sudden overwhelm

Children leaving home

Children moving back home

You getting in your own way

What simple coping strategies could you put in place?

In no particular order, you could try:

Wine and chocolate!  (please don’t do these long term)

Acceptance and acknowledgement

Meditation

Comforting yourself and being kind to yourself.

Reward yourself and others.

Exercise

Seek the opportunity from the situation

Looks at the end result, make a plan of action and break into small, baby steps

If something the same or similar has happened before, learn from it by thinking about what you did last time.

Delegate and outsource tasks, so you can focus on you and your recovery.

Know that the situation will not last forever.

Forgiveness of yourself and others.

Show gratitude of the past and other present situations.

Talk to someone!  Even, seek professional help!  There is no shame in it.

Regular self-care helps in the long term and perhaps lower the impact of boulder situations.

Tracey of PlumEssence is a therapist, hypnotherapist, mental health first aider, stress management consultant and mentor, who helps people to manage and cope with boulders thrown at them.  Tracey also runs workshops about Managing and Coping with Stress and Anxiety, which are suitable for support groups and the workplace.

For a no obligation chat, so see if I can help you, please call 01889 808388 or 07803 399594 or email [email protected]

Enjoy a Stress-free Festive Period

I do enjoy a stress-free festive period.

I have to admit, I cannot understand what all the fuss is about.

What’s the point if you refer to the words ‘frazzled’, ‘stressed’, ‘anxious’, ‘hassle’, ‘hassled’, ‘frustrating’?  You get the idea.  I’ve heard these words a lot the past couple of weeks and I wonder why this season of goodwill brings about these words and emotions.

People who know me, know I ‘don’t do Christmas’.  What I really mean is that I don’t get caught up in all the hype and commerciality of Christmas.  It’s supposed to be a period of enjoyment, especially if you do things you don’t do all year.  So, enjoy it I do.

I know it’s cutting it fine to give some hints and tips about how to have a stress-free festive period and Christmas.  Even so, here’s some of my thoughts  (Only a few.  This is a blog, not a book) and most of them are stating the obvious:

1.  What are you aiming to achieve?  Perfection?  There is no such thing, so don’t bother trying.  If something is not perfect, it doesn’t matter.  Your best is always good enough.  If you are aiming for perfection, ask yourself why?  Who are you trying to impress and why?  And, if you don’t achieve perfection, what’s the worst that can happen?  Ask yourself if it will matter in 5 hours time?  Will it matter in 5 weeks time?  5 months time?  You get the idea.  The answer is likely to be ‘probably not’.
2. If you still have a lot to do. Get it written down NOW and then DELEGATE!  It can be hard, but you know what?  Many people will help.  They just need to be asked (or told) sometimes.  On the whole, people like to share.  Some people may want to learn to do things too.  If you can’t delegate because no-one does it as well as you, see point 1.
3. If you still have stuff to do, plan when you are going to do it.  Be realistic though.  There are only 24 hours in the remaining few weeks, and you may have to work in that time, and you certainly have to sleep and eat!  Build that time in too.  Don’t forget to plan having a cuppa, to eat some nutritious food and to take time to exercise.  What about the things you cannot plan?  Oh no, those crisis moments you cannot control.  Allow time for those to happen too.
4. You know that nutrition and hydration are important, so eat well and drink plenty of water.  You also know that exercise is important, so don’t forget that taking a 10minute walk (as a minimum) can do you a world of good.  Get out, calm down, re-energise, refocus and compose yourself.
5. Get a good night’s sleep.  Yes, another obvious fact but if you are getting stressed about the festive period, then you are forgetting the obvious anyway.  Hopefully, if you have taken note of point 3, you have planned when you are going to start resting. Take time to have a bath, read a book, write your journal. The calm down time before bedtime is just as important. Keep your bedroom well aired and the bedding comfortable.  Try to keep to your usual bed-time routine as much as possible.  And, if you have taken note of point 3, then you can go to bed not worrying about anything to do.
6. There are tons of relaxation techniques, essential oils, massage techniques, mindfulness and mediation techniques, and breathing techniques that can all help with restful sleep and feeling calm and focused.  There is not a one size fits all approach to any of these, so if you need some help with any of them, then just make that call 07803399594 or 01889808388 or send that email [email protected]

Most of all, remember this is your time too. You have to enjoy the festivities before everyone else can.

Well-being is not self-indulgent

Caring for yourself is not self-indulgent, it is self-preservation.

Looking after yourself is not pampering, it is a necessity.

I thought of this today as clients are not booking appointments due to their workloads.

Many in the health field will say “when you don’t have time for you, then that’s when you need to make that time”.

To enjoy work, to stay focused and be productive, you need to take time out for you.  Enabling your mind and body to relax, helps them to rejuvenate and refresh, helping you to replenish the energy in both.  Renewed energy allows for improved thought processes and to be able to think more productively, often allowing you to come up with better and new ideas.

You need to take care of yourself as it is easy to forget to do so, especially when you’re busy looking after your work responsibilities and trying to appease others.

Whatever you do, you should prioritise your own health and well-being.  You need to eat well, and rest your mind and body.  You need to take time out.

Scheduling time to help you maintain your well-being gives you something to look forward to. If

you like, you can consider it a pampering treat for all the hard work you have completed.  Take it as time to enjoy.  It’s more difficult to be successful if you don’t take care of yourself.

Working hard and not taking time for your well-being will lead to regular illnesses and stress-related illness. More illness causes more stress as you fight the initial illness and then you don’t perform at your best.  It’s an easy catch-22 situation to fall into.

This is usually when I get the calls. People wanting to book in because they don’t feel great.  That’s fine, I like people to book in and we can start the well-being journey.

But really, prevention is better than cure.

Don’t wait until you feel something is wrong. Don’t wait until you are in pain, stressed, or suffering anxiety or elements of depression.

Make a plan, now, to book yourself in for your well-being treatment, and make sure you come first.

If you don’t look after yourself, you cannot look after anyone else.  If you don’t know where to start, or don’t know what treatments to have, then just ask!