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Accountability and Responsibility

Being accountable and responsible


Accountability and Responsibility

This morning I had a mentoring and accountability session with a female business buddy, who has become a great friend over the years.

The session got me thinking about ‘accountability’ and ‘responsibility’ and how some of the comments my clients say, make me smile.

The sessions with my clients are not all about physical treatments, hypnotherapy or NLP.  Often, these sessions are a start to their wellbeing journeys, with me suggesting ‘homework’ for the clients to complete between sessions.  This could be anything like an action plan to start to reduce stress, practising their anchoring techniques, starting with simple mindfulness techniques, short meditations, reducing certain foods or drinks, increasing certain foods or drinks, or even going for short walks to improve their physical health.

The comments that make me smile are ones like ‘Trace wont be happy if I do (or don’t) do that’ ‘I better do that to keep Tracey happy’ and other similar comments.

These comments are not about me at all.  It’s not down to me to be bothered about whether the clients complete their ‘homework’.  I’m certainly not going to be annoyed at them or tut at them.

I do think the clients may use me as excuse though, to ensure they are held accountable for their wellbeing and taking responsibility for it.

So, if you want to improve your health and wellbeing, reduce your stress or anxiety, or want to relax and reduce tension, and feel a little overwhelmed by it all, and that you need someone to help make you accountable, then get in touch for a no-obligation chat.

[email protected]  call 07803399594 or book-on line for a consultation time that suits you

Suffering Insomnia?

To me, people will say things like: “I’m really struggling with sleep, for many reasons. I’ve tried guided meditation and lavender. My mind wanders when I try to meditate. I’m only getting about 4 hours sleep a night” “I have insomnia”.

Sleep is so important.  Lack of sleep can affect all aspects of your life, leaving you mentally and physically exhausted and causing a number of health concerns as well as potential issues with your relationships.

There are so, so many reasons for insomnia and so many ways to try and beat it.  Sadly, there is usually no ‘quick fix’ and more than one treatment and/or therapy needs to be applied, on a daily basis, for them to start to be successful.

Although people say they don’t want to bore me with details, if I had a consultation with them, I would want to know those details so I could start to think of the right treatments for them.

Although I never believe in a one-size-fits-all approach, here are some questions you could ask yourself, and some ideas based on the potential answers to those questions.

Meditation and/or self-hypnosis.

Both are difficult to practise and be successful at.  And, they do need practise.  If you are trying any of these, I would suggest, keep at it.  If your mind wanders, try and bring it back to the present, focus on counting your breaths until you start to empty your mind again.  With daily practise, you can achieve from 2 minutes per session to 2 hours (if you wanted to, which I never have, lol).  Try and do it more than once per day.  It does get easier.

How and when are you exercising?

Are you exercising during the day or late into the evening?  It could be that your body type is not one that wants to exercise too late as it continues to be awake and have its metabolic rate still going, as well as the various hormones which keep the body active internally, even if we are not physically active.  If you are exercising in the evening, up to 4 hours before starting to wind down, perhaps you need to change your routine?

Do you have a fixed bed time routine?

This is something I teach a lot.  A switch off routine is incredibly important.  Things like:  When you have finished work, take a shower to wash off the day (or a bath with marjoram or chamomile oils would be better), change your clothes, prepare for the next day, drink chamomile tea, eat a light meal, no alcohol, no sugar, write your journal and switch off technology at least an hour before bed.  Some people think this is the best time to listen to some hypnosis, meditation etc, but it isn’t if the therapist wakes you up.  Listen to bed time ones where they don’t wake you up/bring you out of trance.  Have a set bed time and routine and you will soon see the benefits.


Personally I am not a fan of lavender.  Mainly because people do not realise that if they over-use it, lavender is actually a stimulant.  Chamomile essential oil and marjoram essential oils are much better, in my opinion.  You can also drink chamomile tea to calm you from the inside out.  Chamomile tea with honey or maple has other, enhanced, benefits too and good if you don’t like the taste of just chamomile tea.


When are you actually taking time out for you?  Naturally, I massively advocate a damn good aromatherapy massage to relax the whole you, inside and out, mentally and physically.  Arrange one late in the afternoon, at least once a month (more to start with) so that you can relax for the rest of the day before bed.

Time out and mindfulness

How often do you just go for a stroll, preferably in nature?  I don’t mean a fast walk, or calorie burning in any way, I mean, a dawdle along, being mindful and appreciative of the things around you, using all your senses.  Try and practise being mindful every day too.  It becomes easier with practice.


Do you journal?  If not, why not?  If you have a lot going on in your head, dump your thoughts on paper.  Keep a separate appreciation journal, where the last thing you do, is write down a few things you are grateful for, every day.

If the things in your head are things that need to be said, but you can’t, then write a letter to the people involved, but a letter that is never sent.

This is not exhaustive but a few of the most common things I suggest to people.  I don’t suggest you try them all at once, because that, too, will be overwhelming and so exhausting.

Let me know how you feel about any, or all, of these and tell me which ONE you are going to start with.

Naturally, I can help with a range of therapies to help you improve your sleep, all of which can be found on my website http://plumessencetherapies.co.uk/services/

For a no-obligation chat, please just call on 01889 808388 or 07803399594 or book an appointment using the web address above.

From the end of July, I am offering a new 6-session programme called Mind Body Business, where a range of subjects are covered for business owners.  A healthy mind and a healthy body will help lead to a healthy business.

For more details, please just email your interest on [email protected]

Enjoy a Stress-free Festive Period

I do enjoy a stress-free festive period.

I have to admit, I cannot understand what all the fuss is about.

What’s the point if you refer to the words ‘frazzled’, ‘stressed’, ‘anxious’, ‘hassle’, ‘hassled’, ‘frustrating’?  You get the idea.  I’ve heard these words a lot the past couple of weeks and I wonder why this season of goodwill brings about these words and emotions.


People who know me, know I ‘don’t do Christmas’.  What I really mean is that I don’t get caught up in all the hype and commerciality of Christmas.  It’s supposed to be a period of enjoyment, especially if you do things you don’t do all year.  So, enjoy it I do.


I know it’s cutting it fine to give some hints and tips about how to have a stress-free festive period and Christmas.  Even so, here’s some of my thoughts  (Only a few.  This is a blog, not a book) and most of them are stating the obvious:


  1.  What are you aiming to achieve?  Perfection?  There is no such thing, so don’t bother trying.  If something is not perfect, it doesn’t matter.  Your best is always good enough.  If you are aiming for perfection, ask yourself why?  Who are you trying to impress and why?  And, if you don’t achieve perfection, what’s the worst that can happen?  Ask yourself if it will matter in 5 hours time?  Will it matter in 5 weeks time?  5 months time?  You get the idea.  The answer is likely to be ‘probably not’.
  2. If you still have a lot to do. Get it written down NOW and then DELEGATE!  It can be hard, but you know what?  Many people will help.  They just need to be asked (or told) sometimes.  On the whole, people like to share.  Some people may want to learn to do things too.  If you can’t delegate because no-one does it as well as you, see point 1.
  3. If you still have stuff to do, plan when you are going to do it.  Be realistic though.  There are only 24 hours in the remaining few weeks, and you may have to work in that time, and you certainly have to sleep and eat!  Build that time in too.  Don’t forget to plan having a cuppa, to eat some nutritious food and to take time to exercise.  What about the things you cannot plan?  Oh no, those crisis moments you cannot control.  Allow time for those to happen too.
  4. You know that nutrition and hydration are important, so eat well and drink plenty of water.  You also know that exercise is important, so don’t forget that taking a 10minute walk (as a minimum) can do you a world of good.  Get out, calm down, re-energise, refocus and compose yourself.
  5. Get a good night’s sleep.  Yes, another obvious fact but if you are getting stressed about the festive period, then you are forgetting the obvious anyway.  Hopefully, if you have taken note of point 3, you have planned when you are going to start resting. Take time to have a bath, read a book, write your journal. The calm down time before bedtime is just as important. Keep your bedroom well aired and the bedding comfortable.  Try to keep to your usual bed-time routine as much as possible.  And, if you have taken note of point 3, then you can go to bed not worrying about anything to do.
  6. There are tons of relaxation techniques, essential oils, massage techniques, mindfulness and mediation techniques, and breathing techniques that can all help with restful sleep and feeling calm and focused.  There is not a one size fits all approach to any of these, so if you need some help with any of them, then just make that call 07803399594 or 01889808388 or send that email [email protected]


Most of all, remember this is your time too. You have to enjoy the festivities before everyone else can.

Education Sector