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Accountability and Responsibility

Being accountable and responsible


Accountability and Responsibility

This morning I had a mentoring and accountability session with a female business buddy, who has become a great friend over the years.

The session got me thinking about ‘accountability’ and ‘responsibility’ and how some of the comments my clients say, make me smile.

The sessions with my clients are not all about physical treatments, hypnotherapy or NLP.  Often, these sessions are a start to their wellbeing journeys, with me suggesting ‘homework’ for the clients to complete between sessions.  This could be anything like an action plan to start to reduce stress, practising their anchoring techniques, starting with simple mindfulness techniques, short meditations, reducing certain foods or drinks, increasing certain foods or drinks, or even going for short walks to improve their physical health.

The comments that make me smile are ones like ‘Trace wont be happy if I do (or don’t) do that’ ‘I better do that to keep Tracey happy’ and other similar comments.

These comments are not about me at all.  It’s not down to me to be bothered about whether the clients complete their ‘homework’.  I’m certainly not going to be annoyed at them or tut at them.

I do think the clients may use me as excuse though, to ensure they are held accountable for their wellbeing and taking responsibility for it.

So, if you want to improve your health and wellbeing, reduce your stress or anxiety, or want to relax and reduce tension, and feel a little overwhelmed by it all, and that you need someone to help make you accountable, then get in touch for a no-obligation chat.

[email protected]  call 07803399594 or book-on line for a consultation time that suits you

Suffering Insomnia?

To me, people will say things like: “I’m really struggling with sleep, for many reasons. I’ve tried guided meditation and lavender. My mind wanders when I try to meditate. I’m only getting about 4 hours sleep a night” “I have insomnia”.

Sleep is so important.  Lack of sleep can affect all aspects of your life, leaving you mentally and physically exhausted and causing a number of health concerns as well as potential issues with your relationships.

There are so, so many reasons for insomnia and so many ways to try and beat it.  Sadly, there is usually no ‘quick fix’ and more than one treatment and/or therapy needs to be applied, on a daily basis, for them to start to be successful.

Although people say they don’t want to bore me with details, if I had a consultation with them, I would want to know those details so I could start to think of the right treatments for them.

Although I never believe in a one-size-fits-all approach, here are some questions you could ask yourself, and some ideas based on the potential answers to those questions.

Meditation and/or self-hypnosis.

Both are difficult to practise and be successful at.  And, they do need practise.  If you are trying any of these, I would suggest, keep at it.  If your mind wanders, try and bring it back to the present, focus on counting your breaths until you start to empty your mind again.  With daily practise, you can achieve from 2 minutes per session to 2 hours (if you wanted to, which I never have, lol).  Try and do it more than once per day.  It does get easier.

How and when are you exercising?

Are you exercising during the day or late into the evening?  It could be that your body type is not one that wants to exercise too late as it continues to be awake and have its metabolic rate still going, as well as the various hormones which keep the body active internally, even if we are not physically active.  If you are exercising in the evening, up to 4 hours before starting to wind down, perhaps you need to change your routine?

Do you have a fixed bed time routine?

This is something I teach a lot.  A switch off routine is incredibly important.  Things like:  When you have finished work, take a shower to wash off the day (or a bath with marjoram or chamomile oils would be better), change your clothes, prepare for the next day, drink chamomile tea, eat a light meal, no alcohol, no sugar, write your journal and switch off technology at least an hour before bed.  Some people think this is the best time to listen to some hypnosis, meditation etc, but it isn’t if the therapist wakes you up.  Listen to bed time ones where they don’t wake you up/bring you out of trance.  Have a set bed time and routine and you will soon see the benefits.


Personally I am not a fan of lavender.  Mainly because people do not realise that if they over-use it, lavender is actually a stimulant.  Chamomile essential oil and marjoram essential oils are much better, in my opinion.  You can also drink chamomile tea to calm you from the inside out.  Chamomile tea with honey or maple has other, enhanced, benefits too and good if you don’t like the taste of just chamomile tea.


When are you actually taking time out for you?  Naturally, I massively advocate a damn good aromatherapy massage to relax the whole you, inside and out, mentally and physically.  Arrange one late in the afternoon, at least once a month (more to start with) so that you can relax for the rest of the day before bed.

Time out and mindfulness

How often do you just go for a stroll, preferably in nature?  I don’t mean a fast walk, or calorie burning in any way, I mean, a dawdle along, being mindful and appreciative of the things around you, using all your senses.  Try and practise being mindful every day too.  It becomes easier with practice.


Do you journal?  If not, why not?  If you have a lot going on in your head, dump your thoughts on paper.  Keep a separate appreciation journal, where the last thing you do, is write down a few things you are grateful for, every day.

If the things in your head are things that need to be said, but you can’t, then write a letter to the people involved, but a letter that is never sent.

This is not exhaustive but a few of the most common things I suggest to people.  I don’t suggest you try them all at once, because that, too, will be overwhelming and so exhausting.

Let me know how you feel about any, or all, of these and tell me which ONE you are going to start with.

Naturally, I can help with a range of therapies to help you improve your sleep, all of which can be found on my website http://plumessencetherapies.co.uk/services/

For a no-obligation chat, please just call on 01889 808388 or 07803399594 or book an appointment using the web address above.

From the end of July, I am offering a new 6-session programme called Mind Body Business, where a range of subjects are covered for business owners.  A healthy mind and a healthy body will help lead to a healthy business.

For more details, please just email your interest on [email protected]

‘What if’ and ‘should’ – words that can get in the way

benefits of mediation pic

Benefits of mediation opening slide

After delivering this morning’s workshop, entitled The Benefits of Meditation, I was partly disappointed that the sun was shining.

I wanted to get on with some admin which I knew I wouldn’t do, because sitting in the garden, eating my lunch would be a far better choice, and the one I chose.

Whilst eating my lunch, I knew I had gone into a meditative state just watching the birds at play, listening to their song and the waterfall by the pond.

Then suddenly, a thought popped into my head.  “Oh no, I’ve just realised the assessor was there and I didn’t include him in the lesson!”

I feel horrified and then my mind starts whirring.  “Should I have included him or did I do the right thing by not doing so?  Did I engage the learners enough? What if he says I didn’t?  Does he think I may have patronised people by offering to help them, or does he think I didn’t offer enough help?  Should I have been more serious and not joked about people I know and love or should I have made more light of the whole lesson? Should I have stood still?  Did I move too much?  Did I not move enough to the right of the class? Should I have left my boots on or was it ok to take them off?  Should I have allowed one learner to lie on the floor, or not? Did I get the balance right or did I focus too much on one thing?  Did I not elaborate enough on some things?  Should I have admitted some of the things I did, or should I have not said anything, or lied about those things?”

It wasn’t long before I realised I had tears in my eyes.  I had gone from reflecting on what a lovely lesson it was, to beating myself up about all the things I could have done wrong.

Then, I made myself stop and say one thing to myself.

“There is no point in getting upset about something you cannot control ….. that is, what other people think of you”.

This assessor has opinions of me and the way I teach, but, that’s what they are, his opinions.  Who says they are right or wrong? Who says his comments are correct?  On another day, in another class, with another subject, his assessment could be much different to today.

Who knows, another assessor could have been there today, and written a completely different assessment to the one that will be written.

So, one things for sure.  You cannot please all of the people, all of the time.  There is no such thing as perfection.  There is no point trying.

If you feel you say a negative ‘what if’ too often, or say ‘should’ too often, then please get in touch.  My empowerment coaching belief change sessions could very well help you.  These sessions are an NLP-based approach and can include meditation techniques, all of which are simple exercises for you to continue to use at home.

A no-obligation chat is always available, just book a call or 1-2-1 meeting, using my on-line scheduling system, or call me on 01889 808388 or email [email protected]

Annual success, happiness or achievements jar

On 1st January, why not start a “success jar”?  In fact, you can change the name to the ‘happiness jar’, the ‘achievements jar’ or ‘joy jar’ or any mix of these names than resonate with you.

On 31st December (or early on 1st January), sit still, calm, relax and clear your head (meditate) and ask for answers as to what you truly would like for 2016.

Write down the answers that come to mind without question or taking any notice.

Afterwards, then write, with thought, stating what you would like to achieve in the year.

Put all your comments in the jar.  Perhaps, add some crystals and some I-Ching coins, or anything else you associate with abundance.  Alternatively, put the comments on a vision board.

Every morning, try to remember to add a coin to the jar whilst stating your affirmations.

When you’ve had a particularly good day, or done something that has really made you smile or appreciate, add a note to the jar stating what that was.  Try and find something every day.

On 31st December, open the jar, count the money and read all the daily notes.

Start again for the following year.

It’s a great way to remember the small, perhaps insignificant things, which made you smile but also a reminder of where the time went.

One of my clients expanded on this, by emptying her jar whenever she felt low or depressed.  Opening her jar and seeing her notes, made her realise what she had achieved so far, especially in comparison to what she had thought, or in comparison with her initial goals.  It lifted her and motivated her to carry on.

Why not give it a try and see how it works for you?

Remember, you can start this sort of thing at any time in the year.  You don’t just have to set resolutions and goals at the beginning of the year.  Here and now is always a good time to start.

My emptied 2015 jar

My emptied 2015 jar

Education Sector